The full list of ways Not To Act Old:
#136: Take Off That Store-Boughten Underwear
#135: Don’t Forward Emails Like This To All Your Girlfriends
#134: Don’t Cry For Susan Boyle
#133: Don’t Channel Andy Rooney
#132: LOL, Don’t Lust At The Palin Porn Video
#130: Don’t Try To Be Thin As Twiggy
#129: Do Not Attack Any Stars of High School Musical 3
#128: Step Away From The Giant Pumpkin
#127: Do A Web Startup….I Mean, Don’t Do A Web Startup
#126: Do Not Audition For The Sarah Palin Porn Film
#125: Fall Is So NOT Your Favorite Season
#124: Gotta Love Those Entourage Boys
#122: Throw Off The Middle-Aged Burka
#121: No Arcade Fire or Porkpie Hats
#120: Neutralize Your Crazy Old Sperm
#119: Don’t Use the Republicans To Make Your Own Self Feel Cool
#118: Stop Talking About Menopause
#117: Don’t Live In West Virginia
#s105-116: How Not To Vacation Old, Part See Ya Later
#104: Look Up To Philippe and Patti
#103: Don’t Act All Shocked That Madonna’s Turning 50
#102: Only One Pair of Glasses At A Time, Please
#s94-100: How Not To Vacation Old, Part 2
#93: Stop Covering Up Your Underwear!
#s84-92: How Not To Vacation Old, Part 1
#82: Stop All That Moving Around
#81: Learn To Type With Your Thumbs
#75-80: How Not To Act Old Around Your Babysitter
#74: Forget the Sixties Nostalgia
#73: Cancel the Trip to Provence
#72: C’mon, Tell Us All About Your Sex Life
#71: Never Admit That You Hated “The Dark Knight”
#69: Enough With The Jane Austen Worship
#67: Don’t Put It In Cruise Control
#66: Don’t Die. Or Even Consider The Possibility of Dying.
#64: Don’t Fear The Tat
#63: Never Admit You Have No Freaking Clue Who Leighton, Cuttino, Rihanna, Jensen, Dane or Feist Are
#62: Don’t Be Shocked By A Touch of Girl-on-Girl
#61: Know The Difference Between A Brotha and A Bro
#59: Don’t Bogart That Watermelon
#s 54-58: Special July 4th Oldness Alerts
#52: No Bras The Size of Wyoming
#51: Don’t Go Thinking A Big Gut Is Normal
#50: No, That Was Not Mary-Kate and Olsen You Saw On The Number 66 Bus
#48: Enough With The Man-Bashing
#46: Stop Hoping Lauren Conrad Will Just Go Away
#45: Don’t live In A Big House And Complain About Money
#44: Quit Bossing Everybody Around
#41: Don’t Get Too Excited About Mondays
#39: Don’t Wake Up Before Dawn
#38: Break That Saturday Night Sex Routine
#36: Enough With The Seinfeld, Already!
#33: No Digestion Discussions, Ever
#31: Don’t Lust After The Lifeguard
#28: Don’t Listen To Springsteen
#24: Don’t Forget….Uh, Everything
#23: Don’t Send Greeting Cards
#22: Avoid Direct Confrontation
#19: Don’t Describe The Doctor, The Cop, or The Teacher As “Looking 12”
#16: Don’t Live In Greenwich Village
#15: Don’t Be Named Bob or Pat
#13: Unless You’re In Nagasaki, Don’t Give (Or Ask) Directions
#10: Don’t Lust After Paul McCartney
#8: Don’t Yell Into Your Cell Phone
#7: Don’t Count Out Exact Change
#6: Beware The Accidental Hookup
#5: Don’t Dance To “Sexual Healing”
#4: Don’t Admit You’re Befuddled By Technology
#3: Don’t Advise People To Carry An Umbrella