You look amazing. For your age, I mean. Maybe you’ve got good genes, maybe you’ve been reading Charla Krupp’s How Not To Look Old, maybe you’ve even gone under the knife. But what about the rest of you? Your, you know, behavior. Are you acting older than you want to seem? Are you sure? Here’s how to stop that.
I started How Not To Act Old in the summer of ’08 because, well, just because I felt like it. I was sick of going to parties and listening to people drone on about their grownup children rather than talking about themselves. I was tired of standing in line behind people painfully counting out exactly 58 cents. Don’t they know that makes them look like a little old person?, I wondered. Someone should tell them to stop. So I decided to do just that.
A month later, I sold the idea as a book to Harper Collins, coming out in August 2009. My son Owen came up with the concept for the cover, which I love. The fabulous More Magazine is doing an excerpt. The book is two-thirds new material, not found on the blog, and the new stuff on the blog isn’t in the book.
So, obviously, you’ve got to buy the book. Or risk doing something that will make me write about you in the blog.
Want hundreds more ways not to act old? Craving instruction on everything from how to grind to ways to die cool? Hurry up and order the big new book version of "How Not To Act Old," before you, you know,.....what was I going to say?
How Not To Act Old 
Aging is fun if you are healthy–stay healthy and the spirit grows!!!!
Where did you get that picture of me for the header?
Love your website! It is already making me more popular. Take last night at the MFEE teacher toast for instance. I think I quite impressed everyone with your little quips about Liam Neeson and not using words like “beast” and “rocks”. And as for not planning? This tip makes the fact that my kids have no camps planned for the summer and school lets out in 10 days look like a brilliantly youthful move. Wait till I tell everyone about waxing at the class party! Looking forward to much much more!
Thank you!
So, I’m hard at work and I get one of those funny e-mails that I usually try to avoid acknowleging because who wants to encourage that sort of thing it just interrupts your day and then you end up getting a thousand and it’s…
oh, right, back to my point…
or, as the kids say, “long story short,”
(#44 Don’t say “the kids, and
#45 Don’t say “long story short”)
usually right before launching into a medium or even longish version…
what was I saying?
(#46 If you forget what you’re saying – fake it)
oh, right –
#43 Don’t ramble on!
By the way, thanks for the large type window – I hate those tiny ones where you can’t even…
#44 Don’t whine
# 45 Don’t use proper sentences, grammar, usage, syntax, speling, or capitalization online
…
Hilarious. And so true.
Love this…..!! Looking forward to more posts.
I have some tips:
1) Never let anything surprise you. No matter how bizarre it is. 2) Act like you know what an ipod, iphone or GPS system is and how it works. Or at least nod your head when someone talks about them. 3) Be energetic in your voice. No matter how tired you are, a “perky” voice always makes people think you’re alot younger. Especially on the phone. 4) If you’re petite, it’s to your advantage. For whatever reason, people think you’re younger when you’re 5’3″ or shorter. Who knew?
I’ve done all of these and people think I’m 15-20 years younger than I am. Granted, I’m not as old as Yoda either, but they work.
So, I just discovered this blog/site.
Damn. Where have you been hiding?
The real question is what’s wrong with me for not finding you?
As an older boomer in an industry that is driven by younger people, and I’m not talking about pro sports or
adult movies, not acting/being old is an everyday
obsession. The fact that others are having a good time dealing with it is, well, cool. Is that an okay word to use?
Or did I just commit a boomer faux pas???
Geesh. That is exactly what my 87 year old mom does. I totally do not get it, and I’m not young. I’m 60, but when mom gets up to the check-out counter, no matter where we are, she HAS to count out all the change, and since she can barely see, being blind in one eye, and losing sight in the other one, it takes awhile for her to perform this task. I try to get her to just pay in dollar bills (she won’t use a credit card or debit card either), and to give me the change and I will give her dollar bills for the change. But no, she insists on counting, laboriously, every penny in change. I asked her last week where does she get all that change, if she always uses it to pay for things. She didn’t know. I suspect she picks it up off parking lots, as I’m always having to stop traffic while she picks up another penny on the way to the car.
hamsterdreams
At last. A site that makes me laugh out loud without making me cringe and doesn’t bang on about “senior issues”. And you loved Brooklyn by Colm Toibin. You are clearly a genius and have inspired me to add a link to your site on my own blog, The Jaundiced View (oldbagblogging.blogspot.com) which I hope you will visit. It appears that I am slightly older than you, but I still have all my own teeth and enough brain cells to keep me functionally literate.