Listen, you can have all the best work in the world done. You can get botoxed and Restalyned till you’re smooth as a balloon; you can have your boobs lifted to your chin and your tummy tucked into your backbone.
But if you don’t wax down there, anybody who gets close enough is going to know you’re old.
Waxing is one of the great divides between young and older women. We came of age feeling it was sacrilegious to so much as pluck one hair. They decided to shear most of it off. And even when we thought maybe we’d surprise our husbands for our 20th anniversary, we were nervous. We saw The 40-Year-Old Virgin, after all. We knew it was going to hurt, plus be embarrassing, plus who knew what kind of diseases you might pick up.
If you’re a Waxing Virgin, don’t be afraid. It’s not that bad. And the alternative is even worse: Old below the belt.