Do you remember the first time you saw a naked old person? There you were, all young and smooth-skinned and tight-bodied, thinking that was normal because you looked like everybody on TV. And then there was the shock of how different the old person looked: big gut, droopy boobs, wobbly butt, ewwww.
Except now that you’re the wobbly, droopy old person, it’s all too easy to start thinking you look normal. Everybody’s stomach sticks out like that! All thighs come packed with cellulite, everyone has a fupa.
Except they don’t. I’m not saying your body has to look like a 28-year-old’s; I’m just asking that you be realistic about the changes time has wrought. And please, at the beach this summer, don’t subject me to that gut flopping over a Speedo.