Tag Archives: Brooklyn

#117: Don’t Live in West Virginia

Oldest state: Florida, right? Not quite. While Florida may have the highest proportion of people over 65, according to census figures, the state with the oldest median age is West Virginia. Other states where the median age is at the top of the scale — over, yikes!, 38 — are Florida, Maine, and Pennsylvania, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Utah has the youngest median age — 27, the only state where it’s under 30 — followed by Alaska and Texas.

Still, statistics are not what it’s all about when it comes to not living someplace old. More important than reality is the perception of the place. Therefore, if you live in New Jersey or Connecticut, move to New York. If you live in New York, move to Brooklyn. Leave your school-age-or-older kids behind in the suburbs, not because Brooklyn is a bad place for them, but because they’ll definitely compromise your image, age-wise. One photogenic toddler is acceptable.

Living in San Francisco, Seattle, Austin, or Portland, Oregon will also make you seem if not actually feel younger.

Avoid Buffalo, Omaha, and most places in between.

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#16: Don’t Live In Greenwich Village

villageIt used to be, in New York, that young people lived in the Village, and old people lived in Queens. Young people lived on the Upper West Side, and old people lived on the Lower East Side.

All that’s changed around now. Why? Money, honey. Young people want to live where it’s cool, but they have to live where it’s cheap, which forces them to move to places that are less cool, which makes them more cool, which makes them more expensive, whereupon all the young, cool, poor people are forced to move even further out to the frontiers of Brooklyn.

Following this reasoning, Greenwich Village was last marginally affordable in the beatnik era, and now you need to be Graydon Carter to live there. Cool, maybe, but still old.

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