Tag Archives: facebook

#30: Stop Using Email

Leave it to the evil young to get all of us alter kockers addicted to email, and then to abandon the form in favor of texting and facebook. Like waxing, email is proving to be one of the Great Age Divides. Old people can’t figure out why anyone would text, IM, or facebook (wait: is that a verb?) instead of email: How do you type with your thumbs? Why would you want everyone to read your posts? And young people hate emailing because it’s…..old.

Well, I don’t care if email is old: I can’t stop using it. That’s right, I’m addicted to it, just like I am to dark chocolate and nitrous oxide. I joined all those other services and now I don’t know what to do with them or on them or however you say it. So if you want to get in touch with me, send me an email at hownottoactold@gmail.com.


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#22: Avoid Direct Confrontation

Maybe it’s this silent, desktop world we inhabit. Maybe it’s the new culture of positivity and anti-depression. But having a big confrontation, complete with shouting, threats, revelations, and tears, is a decidedly old, out-of-it thing to do.

If young people want to fire you or stop seeing you, they’ll just stop returning your messages. Or defriend you on Facebook. If they’re angry about something you’ve done to them, they’ll blog about it. Or send topless pictures of you on their cellphones to all their friends. I’m not kidding.

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#4: Don’t Admit You’re Befuddled By Twitter, TiVo, Texting — Most of Technology

Sure, it’s baffling. Of course, those mushrooming applications like Digg and Reddit and Facebook and LinkedIn and Twitter are overwhelming. In fact, I sometimes suspect that half those things are not real but a plot by people under 35 to drive us insane.

But the important thing is not to admit how overwhelmed you are. “I don’t understand why anyone would use Facebook instead of email” or “We still don’t know how to work the TiVo” are things you must not say publicly.

Just quietly hire a 14-year-old boy as your tech consultant. Or act as if you’re above the whole technology tsunami — You’re so cool, you’re unGoogleable! — rather than swamped by it. Use it, or don’t use it. But don’t act like it’s cute to be befuddled by it.

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