#71: Never Admit You Hated “The Dark Knight”

Like most other Americans last weekend, I went to see The Dark Knight, aka the new Batman movie.

Here was my experience of watching the film:

Wow, Heath Ledger really does look weird. Scary. And yet strangely…comical. Those wrinkles under that makeup. That lizard tongue. And that voice, that accent, he sounds like someone, I can’t quite place it….

I wonder how Christian Bale gets so hunky and then so skinny over and over again. What kind of diet does he go on? What’s his training regime? I wonder whether that would work for me….

And speaking of thin, Maggie Gyllenhaal looks pretty good. But is she suposed to be the same exact character that Katie Holmes was in the last movie? If Batman’s so powerful, how come he doesn’t notice she’s a different person?

Why is that Chinese guy taking all the money to China? And why is Batman going to China to get it back? Why does he care about the bad guys’ money? I’m a little confused though I’m sure it will all come clear.

Heath Ledger’s voice. It sounds kind of Midwestern, kind of effeminate. Maybe someone who used to be on TV….

So is Morgan Freeman God? Are he and Michael Caine kind of the same person? Are all old guys in movies wise but deferential supporters of young guys? Should I blog about that?

Oh no, I’m really not following this. Maybe if I stop thinking about How Not To Act Old, I’ll pick up the thread.

Why, whenever I hear Heath Ledger’s voice, do I think of Carol Burnett?

Is Maggie Gyllenhaal dead or alive? Is Gary Oldman honest or corrupt? Is Aaron Eckhart tall or short? Is Gotham City supposed to be New York or Chicago? And who the hell are those people on that boat?

On the movie, I totally give up. But Heath’s voice, I’ve got it! He sounds just like this campy gay actor who was on Carol Burnett and then on Hollywood Squares, Paul somebody, Paul Paul Paul: Paul Lynde!

I was relieved, when I came out of the movie, to find that my husband had had the same experience. But when we got home and told our 18-year-old son about it, he looked at us like he wanted to take us out behind the garage and put us down now, before we crumbled into dust all on our own.

The Dark Knight is a highly revered film, he told us, with “an 82 metascore.” The most esteemed critics on the planet were calling it a masterpiece and Heath Ledger’s performance legendary. Plus, Heath Ledger’s tragic life and early death have put him above criticism, and definitely above ridicule. So obviously we were wrong, due to being hopelessly out of it.

The lesson: Don’t admit to any young people of your acquaintance that you are baffled by or hate The Dark Knight. But just between us, on the Paul Lynde thing: Am I right or what?

18 Comments

Filed under 1

18 responses to “#71: Never Admit You Hated “The Dark Knight”

  1. I’m with you and your husband, Pamela–these superficial comic book adaptations with their over the top acting and massive amounts of CGI are a complete turnoff. Whatever happened to movies of substance and intelligence? Answer: the video game generation has grown up and have taken over the world…

  2. I’m OK with comic book adaptations, Cliff, as long as they’re simple enough for me to understand.

  3. Haven’t seen the movie yet… Still, I found this post to be very funny. Keep up the good work, Pam.

  4. Kendall

    this is like accusing the emperor of being naked when he’s wearing a 5 piece suit and a parka.

    WHOOOOOSH!

  5. Pat Dry

    Maybe you shouldn’t bother seeing movies you’ve already decided to hate. If you had made any attempt to enjoy the movie you were watching, you wouldn’t have had an incessant running commentary in your head, and you would have seen the actors as their characters, not the actors. It’s called willful suspension of disbelief. Perhaps your lifestyle has eroded your ability to concentrate and immerse yourself in a creative work that is not your own.

  6. I haven’t seen it yet but if Heath sounds like Paul Lynde, I would recognize the voice. I watched him on Hollywood Squares enough times!

  7. Ryan

    I totally agree with you. Saw Iron Man and the Incredible Hulk and I thought they were great…enjoyable characters, a plot that can be followed, etc… The Dark Knight was a terrible movie with a great performance by Heath Ledger, simple as that. It has nothing to do with age that you didn’t understand what was going on (who, what, why, when, why…what!), the movie was just so terribly edited. And I swear that cop guy with the glasses blurted out Chinese for about 5 seconds near the beginning…was that just me? And I’m 20 by the way.

  8. I just saw the movie. I’m 19 and I totally never could follow the movie. I hated it. I hated it when I was a child and I still do. I tried watching but got up and walked out about an hour or so into it. Great job from Ledger but Batman looked UBER GAY and the editing was horrible like you said Ryan. Thank god I’m not the only one not getting what all the hullabaloo about this movie is for. My friend is 16 and she was with me. She was plain bored. Yet, my boyfriend LOVES it. And a friend of mine has seen it 6 times and handmade a Joker costume to wear to the premiere. >_<

  9. Lu

    I, too, saw the movie and was baffled. I had so looked forward to seeing this movie as I had really liked the first one with Christian Bale. I could follow the story and was happy to see Maggie instead of Katie. Glad to see Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine, but the whole tongue thing with Heath Ledger got on my every last nerve. I was distracted every time he was onscreen. I liked the character of Harvey Dent better because he seemed more completely drawn out, the Joker was just a one note psycho.

  10. I COMPLETELY AGREE.
    arghhh my friends all worship it. Also your blog is hilarious. I have an attempt at a funny blog. It is here:http://sexypikachu.livejournal.com/

  11. Kathryn

    Thank you! I too was completely underwhelmed. Maybe I would have gotten more out of it if I (talk about old) could have heard more of the dialog…

  12. I’ve seen the Dark Knight and was scared (yes, wimp) from time to time. The only thing that kept me from losing it was that I read this blog in advance. Each time the Joker did something the slightest bit scary, I’d think, “center square gets the x.” That made it all better.

  13. Traci

    Thank God! My husband and I just walked out of the Dark Knight. We wondered if we needed to have been diagnosed with ADD and on medication to truly appreciate this “epic movie”. We were in agreement that Heath’s performance of the joker was very good, but if you put all of the time he was in it, it totaled 10 minutes maybe. (We left an hour before it ended). On the way home, we were asking ourselves the exact same questions you listed above. Thank you for validating our thoughts!

  14. Josh

    i agree as well. AND I’M THIRTEEN!!!!! and i’m being completely honest about that. i actually thought that heathe ledger kind of lost touch with his joker role. a lot of it was confusing. like how he turns out to be alive and why his voice sounds so stupid. i thought the effects and stunts were really good. but still i just don’t think it was as good as everyone says!?

  15. another josh

    i disagree with some of you. some of you genuinely didn’t like it that’s fine. Others blame the movie for being confusing well it’s not it’s fault you cant keep up. So why complain if you just dont understand? I dont really understand how someone up there hated the movie when they were a child .-. ? and i agree with this guy(Pat Dry) “If you had made any attempt to enjoy the movie you were watching, you wouldn’t have had an incessant running commentary in your head, and you would have seen the actors as their characters, not the actors.” Some of should also try not to set really high expectations that you probably know it might not meet. If it matters which it shouldn’t much im 15

  16. Teh Pw

    ok i read ‘josh’ and ‘another josh’ ‘s comments

    and i have to say that im thirteen and i understood the movie..
    and yeh you should be seeing them as the role theyre playing not who they are in real life.. ffs!

    Whats wrong with the jokers voice and the wrinkles and his tongue.. im just wonderin but like isnt he meant to be a physcopathetic maniac. And another thing, his voice, are you expecting him to speak in the voice he usually speaks in.. my godd…

  17. Janie

    No. You are wrong. That movie was great. If you didn’t get the point to the movie about the money or any part of it for the matter, its because you didn’t pay attention to the movie at all. If explains why he goes to China and why that guy takes the money to Chine. You need a better reason for hating this movie, because none of your reasoning makes any sense.

  18. you can say that morgan freeman is one of the most versatile actors that we have today:

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s